He Speaks

I was raised in church. Every Sunday, every Wednesday, we were there. I lived with my mother and my grandparents and as a kid church was nothing more than a minor inconvenience that interrupted my outside playtime. Looking back I have moments when I'm ashamed of the way I acted about going, but I know that God forgave me for such things long ago. I got married less than a year after I turned 20, so sure that he was THE ONE. It took six years and a beautiful baby boy to make me realize that verbal beatings and psychological toment weren't the way marriages should work. In a fit of rebellion I would leave my son with my grandmother and go out to the clubs and bars with friends. At one point, as I was propped against the wall in the dark corner of a bar, drunk almost to the point of falling down, I heard a voice in the back of my head say "Is this really making you feel better?". I pulled myself out of that dark place and soon found myself tangled up in yet another marriage. Before it was all said and done I had two children and three failed marriages under my belt. It's not something that I'm proud of, but it brought me to the place where I am today. In the midst of this, one month and two days before his fourth birthday my son was diagnosed with leukemia and in spite of how far I'd strayed from God the first place I found myself that first night in the hospital was the chapel. I found myself begging, pleading, bargaining, raging...there were too many emotions rolling around, but I still managed to cry out to God and once again He heard me and responded. My son was in full remission within 28 days and has never relapsed, he'll be 16 this year, just got his driver's license, plays football and is an honor roll student. I suppose what amazes me to this day is no matter how "bad" I was, how many evil thoughts I had, how much hate I had in my heart, God never turned away, never left me alone. Today I've been blessed with a wonderful husband, we've been together almost five years now, two beautiful children of my own as well as three step-children that are a constant source of entertainment. It's a little like living in the Brady Bunch house. God speaks to me daily, reminding me that I'm example to others and that He's never far away, all I have to do is cry out.
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About Me

Jennifer Newkirk
United States

Inspired by Max Lucado's book, God's Story, Your Story.

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