I lost the Love of my life

I was 18 and he was 20 and we only knew each other for 3 weeks and we got married! He was everything I ever dreamed of for a husband and best friend. We were married for 5 years before we were able to have children. The doctors said I couldn't but God knew different!! Then our Precious Melissa was born and our love grew stronger! And 3 years later our little Amy was born! We never had any money but we had each other and then things went down hill,,, we drank and partied too much and I stopped but he didn't, And at 18 years of marriage I took our girls and left him and my heart was broken and so was his and our babies. He got kind of crazy and I filed for divorce and ohhh my heart still breaks and 3 years later he wanted to come and see our babies and I was scared and I had actually prayed so many times that he would die because I was afraid of him. And I called my Pastor and we Prayed" He said God if it is not meant for Gary to come and see Suzanne and Melissa and Amy then please close the door so he won't come" and we talked and 2 days later just 1 day that Gary was to come, my Brother Jack called me and said Gary had been killed in a wreck on his motorcycle. I'm sitting here numb because those words still ring in my head, I felt so responsible for his death and I began drinking so so bad. My girls took care of me and they did it with such love and i'm so sorry they had to go through their Daddys death and my drunken sorrow. Then my Amy got pregnant at 16 and we moved to Livingston, Texas and I found a Christian radio station called KSBJ 89.3 and God used the music and Prayer warriors and on January 19, 2012 will be 11 years sober and my heart still wishes he could've seen his Daughters before he died and I will always love him and I know I will see him again in Heaven and I pray he has forgiven me and God is showing me every day so much love and favor and Blessings "3" actually called,Devon 11 years old and Alex 5 years old and Toby 3 years old. I see their Grandpa in all 3 of them and most of all I see God in them and my Melissa and Amy. I miss him and maybe someday I can love again and only God knows that and my prayer is for all of us to love each other the way God loves us! God bless ya'll and Ive been needing to say all this for sooo many years!! Thank ya'll for this.....
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About Me

Suzanne Whitley
United States
I am a Christian Grandma of 3 Precious Grandsons and I have 2 beautiful Daughters and the man who was my only love is in Heaven with Jesus and I need God more and more because my heart is finally all His and God is also my all and it took me way to long to learn that!

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