My Faith Story

My life before Christ? Well I was a complete mess, I was a lost soul with no direction. I had taken up drinking and partying at the kinds of place one should never go. I had made friends with all the wrong people. Those people kept leading me down a path of sin and bad fortune and further and further away from God. I had pretty much shut God completely out of my life, thinking and acting like I didn’t need him or anyone really. I was trying to make my own decisions and make my own life far from that of God. My life was empty though, I had those “friends” but when I needed those friends, they were nowhere to be found. I started feeling like my life was empty, purposeless, and I was running into a dead-end. At that point I started having suicidal thoughts and still had no one to talk to about it, not even my family, actually my family didn’t and still doesn’t know that I was going through all of that. I went day by day faking happiness and a smile, but secretly I was sure I was about to die.

One day I was sitting in my room and I was completely losing it. I was at my end. Then there it was; something came over me. I didn’t know what it was but it brought me to tears and I was aching all over and my stomach was churning. I was extremely upset that day anyway; I had recently lost my dad and felt even more lost and hopeless. There were many things that I had said and done; the ways that I acted towards my dad that I can’t take back. All these thoughts were running through my head. They were killing me. I didn’t know who to talk too or lean on for support at that time. At that moment I heard it, I felt it, I was scared. Jesus says “I told you that you would die in your sins, for unless you believe I am He, you WILL die in your sins” John 8:24(ESV). That is honestly where I thought I was heading; death, and soon, I would die in all my sins. I knew where I was going, not heaven. I was terrified and it made me drop to my knees and cry like I have never cried before. What am I going to do? Why am I living like this? So many of these questions started running through my head, and I had no answers. I finally was completely broken. Then I heard it so loudly, I felt the warmth. He was telling me to come to Him; to lean on Him. Revelation 3:20(ESV) God says “Behold, I stand at the door and knock, if anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come into him and eat with him, and he with me”. That is what it was like, I was broken on the floor and I hear the knock and His voice. I went to Him and let Him in and He took over my life at that moment and I felt peace; I felt relief. I have turned everything over to Him and He has turned my life around. I knew then I had a true friend; someone to lean on.

Since I turned my life over to Christ I found an amazing church, well let me take that back; I have found an amazing new home and family with some awesome friends that support each other in time, bad and good. I am reading and studying the bible every day. I talk to God every day. I no longer feel as stressed or depressed. I now only drink an occasional glass of wine with dinner or a glass of beer, and I am working on not drinking at all. I realize I don’t need it or want it for that matter. God is helping me with a lot of my past problems. My life is looking so much better. I look forward to my time in my bible each day and going to church on Sunday’s and Wednesdays. I love meeting with new people and talking about God and praying with them and for them. I love meeting people that don’t know God and helping turn their lives to Him. I love knowing what God has done and will do for us. I have noticed that more people come and talk to me and they even say that I am a completely different person. When they ask what happened, I tell them, loud and proud that I have turned my life over to GOD and that He is working through me and taking me down His path. I am going to end with this verse; “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all ways, acknowledge Him and He will make straight your paths” proverbs 3:5-6(ESV).
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About Me

Derek Hawn
United States
My name is Derek Hawn, I am 29 and a Paramedic/firefighter. I am an open book. If you want to know be just ask!

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Inspired by Max Lucado's book, God's Story, Your Story.

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